ok so why didn't someone tell me that this was going to be harder then i thought? prob because i wouldn't have listened to them anyway and if i did i would have thought to myself well thats them and it's not me. i knew it wasn't going to be a simple thing and not exactly a skip in the park but somedays i am on top of the world and other days i feel like i am just making the motions just to get the day over with. why is that? i seems for the past 3 wks i have been struggling and i think that world is so under rated for me right now!!! since the death of my sister it's just been horrible. i'm not cheating and i am doublely damn sure i'm not cheating, with life's dramas the walking didn't fit into the schedule and so tues i did pick that back up and start it again. i didn't go this morning because basically without making any excuses i slept in. i was exhausted and didn't wake up in time to go walk before hubby went to work. and i am SORE!!! so from last week to this week i have gained .4 lbs. ok the normally person wouldn't exactly be upset with that but at the moment i feel like a failure. i'm eating my protien, drinking my water, sticking to the 1000 calories a day and not over eatting. i just feel that i am not going to end of the deal with the band. it's a tool and maybe i'm not utelizing it to it's full potiental. i have picked up on the fact that i have been getting headaches and being dizzy at times. so i checked my blood pressure because i am on meds for it being high. well it's been around 111-113/71-76. so yes thats normal but on the low side of normal. i do go to my surgeon monday afternoon for an adjustment. i am just terrified that he is going to chew my ass out because i haven't lost but 8 lbs since i saw him last time. so yes my nerves are getting the best of me because when this happens i get this rash. so yes i have this lovely rash on my left calves, my right thigh and my right arm. and i keep asking myself what else is going to happen lol. i know god won't give me anymore then i can handle but how much more can i handle? thats the question and no one has that answer for me...i know it will all be ok in the end and tomorrow is a new day. a day i am looking forward to.
~gypsy
About Me
- butterflylvr
- This blog is for the ups and downs of my life of being a wife, mom and friend. I am a wife to an AGR National Guard Soldier. So my life is filled with many things, some good and some not so good but it's what we make of it that makes it special.
My dear sissy.. don't beat yourself up over these few pounds!
ReplyDeleteI recall you listening to me rant and rave over small issues about a month ago lack of understanding and love which comes from Grace that always slips away from me everytime I need it.
Small issues still exist and yet right now, it's not my problem. If I could just stop the feelings of wonderment as to why folks are not the brightest and do what they do, I'd say I had it licked.
But a month has passed and for some reason, I think things have changed in both our households.
I miss and love you lots,
Olivia